A Sparkle in the Blood

This is a tough topic, but I want to talk about what it was like coming out to someone that I'd been in a relationship with for 8 years. Neither of us were ready to deal with the stress and strain. We had no guideline or template of what staying together would look like in this situation. There were times when we thought we were doomed to break up. It was scary as hell, and I'm going to get into all of it, but first, I want to give you some background. When people ask us how we met, it's kinda of an awkward story. See, I met Phoebe when she and I were doing a community theater production of Annie Get Your Gun. At the time, she was 11 and I was 17. We were NOT dating at this time, obviously, though about this time in the story, people usually crack the same jokes. "Robbin' the cradle". "May-December romance". "You just like girls who's shoes light up when they walk away, huh?" The usual. No-no. Nothing like that. She was just this we...

Yes. It's hard. Like, even in the most ideal scenario where everything turns out great and supportive, you still have this moment when you say it and wait to see where the chips land. Nerve wracking. I recently saw that movie Love, Simon , and there is this moment where he is looking in a window at his family. This "moment before" feeling. Like, all I have to do is not say anything for a moment longer and I still get my normal family a moment longer. How long can you stretch it out? How long can you say goodbye before it's gone? It was this limbo I was trapped in. I think it was the moment my friend Sarah told me that it might be time for me to start wearing a bra to work was the moment I knew I had to tell my family soon. Undeniable public boobs was, for me, the point of no return. So it was time to implement the plan I'd been concocting in my head meticulously over the last few months. So, the main three people that I had to inform were, my mother, my ad...

Hey everyone! I'm going to be a bit more sporadic about  posting here, as my Grad school classes are now back in full swing, but I'm not gone, just occupied. I'm actually working on a play about my childhood and somethings I've discovered. These pictures are from a mood book I created while trying to convey the tone and feel of my piece. That's all I'll say about it for now. Enjoy these pictures. I'd love to hear your comments. (please forgive the formatting of the pictures. I'm not sure how to make it look less jumbled).

So, you are transgender. You've made the discovery and you were able to admit it to yourself. You've decided to transition and you are taking the proper steps, but it still seems WAY too early to come out to people. That's okay! Welcome to the "Undercover" period! And an exciting period it is. A time where you, much like a superhero, have a completely different wardrobe and alter ego. Here are a few examples of how I was looking at this time. I thought this was a good balance between boy and girl. What I wanted was a slow ramp up of the feminine over time, so that by the time I actually came out, people would be like, "Yeah, that makes sense".   First things first, I made an appointment with a doctor at the LGBT center to get on HRT as soon as humanly possible. Now that I knew what I was, I felt like everyday I didn't get on HRT was robbing my future self of happiness and femininity. It was a pretty panicky feeling, I just felt like time was tic...