A Sparkle in the Blood

12/26/17 - 1 Year, 6 Months, and 12 Days HRT So, how do you start? When your actual identity can no longer be denied and it bubbles up to the surface; when your hours and hours of fantasizing finally breaks thru and affects your day-to-day reality, how does everything begin, exactly? I don't know how it was for anyone else, but for me, the answer is: Awkwardly. Here is a picture of me wearing the first ever dress I ordered online. I am so geeked here. A savy reader might even take note of my Rainbow Dash My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic socks to complete the ensemble. At this point, I still basically looked like a boy in a dress, but it was all I had, and I loved it. I started to want to experience the world this way. Like, immediately. I asked Phoebe if I could borrow one of her spare purses and I walked a few blocks alone to go get us some Little Caesars. The feeling was amazing. I felt the breeze on my legs. The world looked different, hips swaying to and fro of their o...

12/18/17 - 1 Year, 6 Months, 4 Days HRT So, a question that I get a lot is "Did you always know you were a girl?" or "What was it like growing up knowing you were in the wrong body?" Things like that. This is a difficult question for me to answer, because that wasn't exactly how it was for me. I mean, sure, the thought, "Girls seem to be having a lot more fun. Look how they take care of each other and stick together. That must be nice." Now, I know that girls have their own set of problems, but for me, I was friendless in elementary school and was bullied constantly and was beaten up a few times. The oasis of hopscotch and jump rope looked like heaven compared to the mud and hell of the chubby-nerdy little boy's life I was living. This picture is of me and my little sister, Andrea. She's as cute as a button, but check me out. Dressed head to toe in grey sweats. Glasses that look too big even on my giant C-sectioned baby-head. Combine th...

12/16/17 - 1 Year, 6 Months, and 2 Days HRT Hi! Nice to see you again. It has been 1 Year, 6 Months, and 2 Days since I have last made a post here. All I wanted when I made my day one post was to know how the whole journey was going to turn out. Well, I don't know how it ends yet, but WOW, this has been one of the oddest, most intense, life-changing year and a half that I have ever had, and I'm going to unspool this story slowly. Firstly, I am pretty much a completely different person. I mean, I feel like I'm the same because I went on the journey, but a lot about me has changed. I mean, check it out. Before, I let a beard grow, because, what's the point, I'm not gonna like the way I look anyway. I'd wear plain clothes that make no statement whatsoever. Just tried to blend in Now, I love the way I look in the mirror. That is a feeling I have never had before. It's amazing how much mental room hating yourself takes up. When you are able to stop (I...